The Game Dame™

Dude Accused of Using Wii Controller to Strangle Girlfriend

Posted on February 6th, 2009 in Techie Tidbits.
7 Comments so far

Daniel Alvarez: The Alleged Wii Strangler

Sometimes I’m proud to be from Texas… like when people hack road signs in Austin to warn of upcoming zombies. Other times, however, like when Daniel Alvarez (also from Austin, TX) got arrested for allegedly strangling his girlfriend with a Wii controller, I’m not so proud.

So here’s what happened… Alvarez ate his girlfriend’s Girl Scout cookies. His girlfriend confronted him about it. Fighting ensued. Alvarez grabbed the Wii controller and attempted to strangle his girlfriend. She broke away and called 911. He got arrested. Alvarez has been charged with aggravated assault and is currently being held in a Travis County jail, with bail set at $40,000. If charged, he could be facing up to 20 years in prison.

Um… ok, Daniel. I know that Girl Scout cookies are good. And I know they only come around once a year. But there is a strict relationship rule you HAVE to learn if you ever want to get laid on a regular basis again: Never EVER eat the last of ANYTHING that your girlfriend likes. This is not limited to sweets like Girl Scout cookies. We’re talking queso, steak, the last piece of cold pizza. Don’t touch it. Don’t think about it. And if she says “Oh, no… you can have it. It’s fine.” Plan to eat half and offer her the rest or at the very least, a bite. 99% of the time, she’ll take you up on the offer. Also, you should probably get that whole anger thing checked out. Or if you can’t, at least do something that won’t be embarrassing to admit in prison. I can only imagine Bubba towering over you, sweat dripping from his dirty brow onto a grease-stained shirt and asking you “So… whatcha in for?” And you answering “I strangled my girlfriend with a Wii Controller.” That just doesn’t sound very cool.

7 Responses to “ Dude Accused of Using Wii Controller to Strangle Girlfriend ”

That picture’s of a guy? I figured it was just a slightly manly looking girl. He looks about as threatening as a not very threatening thing. Though I can see him being popular in prison.

More importantly doesn’t the cord on a wiimote to nunchuck break away/pull out? That’s just amateur hour stuff right there.

Left by Ewan on February 6th, 2009

Poor him… he will be a little lady in the jail. Like Ewan said, he will be really popular .

about this thing you girls do of “no you can hve it! ^^” meaning “of course you bloody cant have it.” sometimes is really really really really annoying. so annoying that I do eat it sometimes. why can’t you simple say “I was planning to save it for later”.

Anyway…

cheers!

Left by ricardo on February 10th, 2009

Sounds like both people in this romantic relationships had issues in the first place XD A girl freaking out over cookies and confronting a boyfriend who sounds like he has deep-seated violent issues… hmmm!!! Recipe for a COPS episode!

Left by Dawn on February 10th, 2009

The problem with things like this is that the media only shows half the story. The cookie thing might have just been the trigger to set off something huge. Besides if they were fighting over something like girl scout cookies, who knows what else they were fighting over. Maybe eatting the last egg in the fridge or maybe going to bed too soon. After all nothing is more annoying when someones more tired than you at the current time.

>_>……

Left by Kyrikan on February 12th, 2009

What a major douche bag.

You have a great blog here, I’ll definitely keep coming back. I added you to XBLive, hopefully you can help me with my new blog (which doesn’t have a domain yet.

Left by 8bitGizmo on February 14th, 2009

First time reader, first time poster…

You just made my day. A dude strangles his girlfriend with a Wii remote cord because she accused him of eating the last Girl Scout cookie. That’s a pretty traumatic experience… I hope she gets really good at Mike Tyson’s Punch Out.

Maybe she’ll get her revenge and you find him lying face down in a ditch somewhere with a Wii remote cord sticking out of his butt-hole…leading to an empty box of Thin Mints. She’ll be like Harrison Ford from “The Fugitive”.

Left by Justin on August 15th, 2009

Unequivocally, a quick response:)

Left by nahla_ on September 2nd, 2009

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Dude Accused of Using Wii Controller to Strangle Girlfriend

7 Responses to “ Dude Accused of Using Wii Controller to Strangle Girlfriend ”

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