In the Dallas area? Go pick up a copy of the Dallas Observer this week. See those legs coming outta the cooler? Those are mine. Shot by Morrey Taylor. Artwork (dude hand drew the font, man. That’s hardcore) by Alex Flores.

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Didn’t make it out to the WSVG to see competitors rock out to Guitar Hero II? Watch the final 15 competitors on GameRiot (a site that is quickly replacing the space in my heart formerly reserved for MySpace) and hear the judges responses. Note that not all of these videos are from the final day. If I’m in the green t-shirt, I’m judging accuracy on the first day. If I’m in the white long-sleeved one, I’m judging difficulty on the final day.

Watch Kov and the rest show their stuff…

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So on the way home from dinner tonight, I heard the new Foo Fighters song, The Pretender. But the chorus reminded me of something … something from my youth … It took me a few minutes to place it, and then I figured it out.

Listen to the chorus of this song (it starts when the counter gets down to 3:15):
[youtube DKhnmUdmz74]

Now listen to Cookie Monster’s song:
[youtube tZIvgQ9ik48]

NOTICE ANYTHING??!! Will Cookie Monster sue Dave Grohl for ripping off his tunes?

I can hear it now:

COOKIE MONSTER: You stole song!
DAVE: But I changed the words, man.
CM: Not enough. Me want money!
DAVE: Wanna smoke a bowl instead?
CM: Have cookies too?
DAVE: Always, dude. Always.
CM: OK. We good. No sue.
DAVE: You’re my boy, Blue.

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The Toronto WSVG Guitar Hero II competition is officially over. I’ve got to catch a plane back to Dallas tomorrow. The last few days have been pretty stressful, but I had a great time. Toronto won my heart. Everyone I met was nice (once they confirmed that I was anti-Bush). And Toronto is so CLEAN! There are trash bins and recycling bins on every corner. I have a recycling bin in my hotel room. They actually give a crap about the environment. I hardly even saw cigarette butts littering the ground which is surprising considering no one can smoke in most bars/restaurants around here.

The performances were fun to watch, but I’m glad we’ve chosen our winners. If I ever hear Jessica by The Allman Brothers again, I think I might go postal. I hated that song before the competition even started. I actually didn’t think it was possible for me to hate that song any more than I did before this weekend, but I was wrong. The same goes for Freebird and Sweet Child of Mine. OMG. No mas.

Check out my blog on GameRiot.com to read all about the event.

See More Pictures

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So… yeeeah…

Last night I stayed up until about 1 AM packing for my flight to Canada this morning. I left the house for the airport at 4 AM. Overall, I was pretty proud of myself for getting all of my shit together and making it to the airport 2 hours before my flight was leaving. My PSP was charged. My phone was charged. My laptop was charged. I was charged.

I’d tried to check in to the flight online last night to be even more efficient, but the Air Canada site wasn’t cooperating. I even called customer service and gave them my info to see if they could help me out. I was told the reason it wasn’t working was because of technical difficulties and that I’d have to check in at the kiosk in the morning. But that wasn’t actually true. Read the rest of this entry »

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Just a heads up… posts on my site are probably going to be sparse for the rest of this week. I’m uber crazy busy … which is good and bad. I just got done shooting a deal for GameStop/The Art Institute today. At the end of September, you’ll start seeing kiosks in various GameStops where you can compete against other people in the store to get the highest score in a Quake mod. But before the game starts, you get to listen to me. (HOORAY!) I’ll do a post when I know the locations and dates for sure.

And tomorrow morning I’m waking up at 3:30 AM (WHAAAAAT?! oh noes!) to get ready for my flight to Toronto. I’m reporting for GameRiot.com at the WSVG. If you see me out there, say hello, eh?

I’m…so…freaking… tired…

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In an effort to keep you entertained while you’re waiting for Bioshock to come out, this week’s posts kind of turned into a mobile phone game review extravaGANZAAAAAAAAA-ZAAA-Za-za. Anyway, this one is a must play.

It was at this point that McClane realized
he’d forgotten his deodorant.

Live Free or Die Hard
Published by: Gameloft
Platform: Mobile

You are John McClane. You may look like Mr. Clean, but you‚Äôre actually an old-school cop armed with your dry wit and the power to kick much ass ‚Äì side-scrolling style. It‚Äôs your job to take on and neutralize terrorists who have hijacked the United States‚Äô computer infrastructure. The game is 13 levels of awesome. You can defeat enemies with bullets, Molotov cocktails, or even the crushing power of your ripped body as you slide down ladders and onto their heads. But the game isn‚Äôt limited to hand to hand combat. You‚Äôll also go on a couple of Spy Hunter-esque driving missions that totally rule. Plus, there are several puzzles to drive you crazy (in a good way). All in all, this game was a breath of fresh air. With so many games turning into long, drawn out epic adventures that you don’t even want to finish, it was satisfying to get through an entire game in two days. Yippee Ki-Yay, mother‚Ķ

Rating: 95%
Verdict: Aching for good, wholesome side-scrolling action? This game will make you remember why you loved those old school thumb-numbing games.

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Surviving Hollywood
Published by: Vivendi Games
Platform: Mobile

You‚Äôve got a month to land an agent and prove to your parents that you‚Äôre bound for the big screen. The game is more or less a Choose Your Own Adventure story for your mobile phone. There are graphics, but the action sequences are mainly in text, so you‚Äôll need to READ so you can VISUALIZE action in your HEAD. Crazy, I know. But the writing is funny, so you get hooked quickly. To survive, you‚Äôve got to get (and keep) a job so you can afford to eat healthily, work out and stay hot. If you don‚Äôt, you‚Äôll never make it (so true). You‚Äôve also got to beef up your acting resume so agents will be interested. Meanwhile, you’ve got to balance your work life with your party life, and people like “The Jeff” will want to spend some time with you. Every choice you make throughout the game affects your body, looks and stress levels and it‚Äôs your job to juggle everything you need to get done without having a Lindsay Lohan meltdown.

The Jeff wins many hearts with his emo bangs.
Rating: 80%
Verdict: Reminiscent of point-and-click MacVentures, this game brings the choose your own adventure style to a new level.

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This is about the size of the
screen I played on. Seemed
teeny, but it worked.

When I first heard I was getting a version of God of War on a cell phone, I was skeptical. But Sony did a great job of capturing most of the essential GoW elements in a tiny screen. God of War: Betrayal tells the story that occurred between God of War and God of War 2. Just like the console versions, Kratos performs devastating combo attacks in the air or on the ground with Athena’s Blades and the Blade of Artemis. He can also freeze rivals with the Head of Medusa or pwn big groups of enemies by releasing the Army of Hades. There are 10 replayable levels total, each chock full of puzzles, baddies and blood-spattering fun.

Final Verdict: 8/10 – A quick game to keep you entertained in the waiting room.

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So I was looking for something to write about today and I stumbled across this awesome site: I-Mockery.com – run by these crazy fools. This site is rad. They’ve got a weekly comic called Pixel Pals (which makes me think of the Picture Page song. 10 old school cool points if you know what I’m talking about) and it’s heeelarious. Check out the comics here.

But even better is the piece they’ve done (huhuh… I said piece) on Sexual Moments in Video games. They’ve got animated pix like this one from Nintendo’s 1986 release: Pro Wrestling:

“Will you still respect me in the morning?”

The commentary is even funnier than the pictures. Check out the full list of Sexual Moments in Video Game History here.

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