GEARS OF WAR COLLECTOR’S EDITION

For years, the Locust Horde only existed as fictional characters in children’s flashlit-face horror stories. These bloodthirsty boogeymen inspired nightmares, but not preventative measures. By the time everyone realized the Locust Horde was real, it was too late.

They call it “Emergence Day” – the day when the Horde surfaced from their underground labyrinth to pillage human cities and destroy untold masses. Those that survived fought the takeover with chemical weapons and orbital particle beams, but the Horde remained intact and forced the survivors into Jacinto Plateau – the only structure strong enough to resist penetration. When the Horde breached the plateau’s defense, soldier Marcus Fenix defied orders to stand his ground and left to try and save his father at East Barricade Academy – but he didn’t make it in time. Rebelling against military orders didn’t go down too well. He was sentenced to 40 years in Jacinto Maximum Security Penitentiary.

It’s an awesome story with blockbuster movie potential. Sadly, unless you watch the commercials, sit through the game intro without hitting the start button or – and this is the least likely scenario of all – you actually read the intro in the instruction manual accompanying the game, you won’t know the history of Emergence Day or Marcus Fenix – and that’s a damn shame.
Built like an ox with a voice reminiscent of Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade (“mmhmm”), you play as Marcus Fenix. The single-player campaign starts as a fellow soldier or “Gear” busts you out of your prison cell. It’s time for the Gears to wage a new war against the Locust Horde – and they need your help.

Visually, this game is stunning. At times, I even felt bad about destroying some of the enemy creatures – specifically the Corpser in act three – because they were so magnificent. But it’s definitely a kill or be killed kinda world, so you get over any remorse pretty quickly.

You can carry four weapons at a time. Some of the weapons are typical: grenades, machine guns, pistols, sniper rifles and shotguns. Then there are the specialty weapons: the Torque Bow that launches dynamite through the air and into opponents, the Hammer of Dawn that works outside when it’s aligned with satellites, and my favorite, the Lancer Assault Rifle: a fully automatic midrange weapon equipped with a bone-splitting Chainsaw Bayonet for use in close proximity. A visible arc showing the trajectory will help you aim your grenades and Torque Bow. If you have enough bullets, weapons will reload automatically. For an extra kick, you can manually or “Actively Reload.” Time it just right and not only will you reload more quickly, your weapons will inflict more damage.

You’ll use these weapons to defend yourself against a smorgasbord of enemies from Berserkers: creepy blind badasses that find you by smell and sound, to Wretches: alien-looking creatures that shatter glass with their screams. As you advance through the game, you’ll learn which weapons work best on which enemy type.

In some shooters, you can make your way through to the end by barreling over enemies – charging forward with guns blazing in every battle. Gears of War is not one of these shooters. If you don’t attack strategically – using cover and listening to your teammates – YOU WILL DIE. It’s that simple. “A” is the most important button on your controller. Depending on what you’re doing and where you are, it will either make you duck, roll, cover or jump. Simplifying all of these moves into one button may make it easier to remember what to push, but sometimes, it will get you killed. There were times I wanted to duck behind a pillar, pushed A, and watched in horror as my character rolled into the line of fire instead. Most of the time, the control works really well. And usually, a prompt will come on screen showing you what the “A” button will do if you push it at that time… but in the heat of a battle, you don’t always catch all the freaking prompts and you end up screaming at your TV, controller clenched in angry fists.

When you successfully defeat a wave of enemies, you’ll know. Every time you kill the last member of a group, you’ll hear what I dubbed the “Victory Thrash” – an electric guitar chord that signals the end of the current onslaught.

The characters you meet throughout the game are fantastic. You really get to know the guys you’re fighting with and you’re either going to love or hate them. My favorite was Augustus Cole AKA “Cole Train” – a famous ball player/Gear who made me laugh throughout the game with his cocky interjections. When you get through the single-player campaign, stick around to watch the credits role and you’ll hear a hip-hop track with some of Cole’s comments. It probably won’t win any creative hip-hop/rap awards, but I loved it anyway.

If someone asked me to sum up Gears of War in a word, I’d say “incredible.” But the game is not flawless. In addition to the “A” button being quirky, I had a few issues:

1. The single-player campaign was too short. I know there’s a big push for multiplayer these days and if you’re into that kind of thing, this game has plenty for you. But I’m not a multiplayer kind of girl, and when a game takes less than 20 hours to beat, I feel a little jipped.
2. Cinematics are beautiful, but I wish they’d been used to develop the story by showing flashbacks of Emergence day and Fenix’s history instead of showing awesome battles I would’ve liked to have fought myself.
3. You’re supposed to be able to tell your teammates to attack, withdraw or regroup. It worked so infrequently I stopped trying to do it.
4. There are only two major boss battles in the entire game, and the final battle is frustrating in a bad way. There’s no lifeline, so you can’t even tell how long the torture is going to last. Then, when you finally get through, you’re rewarded with an anticlimactic cinematic.

In any case, the good far outweighs the bad. Two player split-screen co-op is tons of fun and there are three types of multiplayer games for up to 8 players. So go buy this game. Now. Seriously.

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